Mondays

Monday is like a spelling test that your teacher has just passed out, and you haven’t had time yet to make any mistakes. It’s like a blank piece of art paper that you haven’t messed up. Monday is like the second after your teacher asks you a mental math question in front of the whole class–but you haven’t given the wrong answer. Yet. Any good thing can happen on a Monday!

Hiatus

Sometimes you need a break. Sometimes a break is given to you.
Our internet stopped working.
The world did not end.
Bills got paid.
Schedules were maintained.
Hmmm, I can live without blogs, pinterest, and facebook. I can successfully navigate a phone book, a map, and a phone.
But dear internet, I missed you.
It's good to have you back.

Atlas

Yesterday I typed a huge post complete with itinerary of our homeschool day and the craziness that ensues each and every minute. Then my littles squirt walked by and pushed the ever so tempting green  button that turns the computer off.
Sigh.
To sum up...
We had a schedule of Writing, Language Arts, Reading Lessons, History, Math, Geography, and Piano. These do not happen at the same time. One kid will be working on reading while two others do math and mom tries not to permanetly put little squirt in her crib from drawing on the couch while trying to figure out why the definition of a noun has changed since she was in school.
Sigh.
Then the air conditioner guy shows up. I had put in a service order with our home warranty company since the AC had started to make a noise like a small fiat. I  was expecting a phone call to schedule the appointment. The guy called and said he was five minutes away. I tried to be happy (how often do they come that fast?) but the house was truly a mess. The AC guy walked in, told me the loud noise was from me not changing the filter,changed it  and charged me 60 bucks. After he left I turned it back on and the loud noise went from a small fiat to a MAC truck.
Sigh.
We were also hosting bookclub at our house at 3. My kids had helped plan out the activities and made refreshments. No one showed.
Sigh.
Hubby came home around 6. I had forgotten that he had a class that night at 6:30 that lasted 3 hours. I was going to be feeding the kids dinner, cleaning up, and getting them into bed by myself. I was a little terse with hubby before he walked out the door. It wasn't his fault he was leaving, he had told me repeatedly about it but at the moment I didn't believe him.
Sigh.
After the kiddos were in bed I purposefully at the remainder of the cookies from bookclub. There were a lot left over due to the no shows. Then I opened a bag of chips to conteract the sweetness. So much for the diet.
Sigh.

Ever have days like that? No one died, no major accidents or catastrophes but like Atlas the world just seems awfully heavy.

Today I woke up feeling lousy. My kids and I huddled in my bed, still in pjs deciding not to get up and going right away. Schedules be damned was the motto (at least in my head) We finished reading the book 'The Inventions of Hugo Cabret' so we could have a movie night tonight. Another AC guy showed up after I put in another service request. He thought my MAC truck comment on the description request was funny and told me so. My hubby came home briefly in between meetings and gave me a hug. He said he would try to get off work a little early today. A bookclub mom called to apologize for missing yesterday and asked if we could hang out today. We might make more cookies before she gets here.

And suddenly I am no longer Atlas holding the world on my own. There are others and as always when you share, the weight is not so heavy anymore.

1950

I love vacuums. It's weird I know. I should get super excited about jewerly, chocolates, and big stuffed teddy bears and I do. The fact is that I only own a few pieces of jewerly I truly care about and I'm awful about remembering to put them on. I am always a girl who loves her chocolate but it only lasts so long. Big bears? I have five daughters which means my home is overrun with stuffed animals. What I love is a really good vacuum that works and is easy to fix. When I first got married my mother in law gave me a Kirby. Dang those things last, and last, and last. They are also heavy. Then my husband bought me a new Bissell. It was lightweight and when the tube got jammed I could unhook it and easily get the crayon/hairbow/stuffed teddy bear out without too much fuss. Plus my house was clean. Last week my Bissell finally died and I went shopping for a new one. It came yesterday. It is shiny and bagless. It picks up super amounts of dirt. Oh yes, I was born in the wrong era.

It Doesn't Have to be Complicated

This week has been crazy. My in laws were here from China but not technically 'here'. You see, we live in Texas and in Texas everything is big and far away. I have a very love/hate relationship with the size of it all but mostly I veer toward the love....until last weekend. When my in laws call and say they are in Texas it means a 6 hour drive to spend a few hours. I love them but this time I packed up my husband and two of our squirts and kissed them goodbye. Then I took the older squirts and we did a manical crazy cleaning frenzy. I had started to spring clean (read Tolkien post here) but this gave a huge jump in organization. In between we tried to have a little fun.
Frozen yogurt for dinner.
Steady streams of nerds and mini chocolate bars.
Music blaring while sweeping out the garage.
And you know what? It was fun. With every squirt home all day, every day, I often feel like the quality time gets a little reduced. We do a lot of quantity but most of it is mom hovering over their shoulders correcting math or asking them to wait one minute while I finish taking care of a little squirt's basic need. This last weekend we talked. A lot. There were no interupptions. Yes, baby was home but she was pretty mild and could be hauled around and talked over. After the weekend was over I asked if they were sad that they didn't get to go with their Dad.
No.
Well, maybe a little, but they had fun.
Some weeks I feel like I have a lot of great, unique parenting and homeschool ideas that I like to try and see come to fruitation. Then this weekend we did things that were not creative or intellectual but we made memories. I spent time with my kiddos and really, isn't that what it is all about?

Oh the noise!

At this very moment there is a new train toy that whistles, sings, chugs, and thumps. As a rule I try to keep the noisy toys at our house to a minimum but this one snuck in. Baby squirt though is highly entertained and since 6 year squirt is helping her push it back and forth it keeps both of them entertained. 8 year squirt is playing the piano. I can hear snatches of rehearsal songs and then the random up and down the keyboard she really likes to do. 4 year squirt is singing to herself in the playroom and 10 year squirt keeps shooting questions my way about her reading assignment.

Oh the noise.

The piano just stopped and someone is complaining that someone else won't play with them. 10 finished reading and asks to be done. She spun the chair around only to smack baby in the head. Oops. Now crying is thrown in. Back in a minute.

The doorbell rang in the intermission. The next door neighbor brought over crayons and a coloring book for my little squirts. She is incredibly sweet. Retired with a husband who had to go into a nursing home right before we moved in. She says it does her good to see my kids running around the yard. She is really, really, sweet.

Broke up a small fight. Quiet. Maybe I should see what they are doing. Quiet can be scary. Nope, chatter, the buzzer on the dryer just went off and the phone just made me jump a mile by ringing. Different tones for different people. This one I'll answer.

A Tolkien Kind of Day

I'm the kind of gal who likes background noise. A good audiobook, all kinds of music, a movie, or my squirts practicing the piano. Most days an hour or so of good beats, English accents, or funny narrative is enough to get my 'chores' done but sometimes our home gets drastic. I few weeks ago I posted here about my Jane Austen Day. These are days when there is a big project to finish and I pop in the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice and get to it. Those DVDs are roughly 5 hours long. I can usually finish whatever it is I am doing in time to sit back and watch Mr. Darcy's eyes as he gazes adoringly at Elizabeth helping his sister play the piano....sigh.....
Sometimes 'the house', an entity in it's own right, needs a little more. Break out the Tolkien Day. That is when I put on the extended versions of Lord of Rings to get my big jobs done. I get out all three extended edition movies and haul my laptop from room to room setting it precariously atop something for a little background noise. Battle noises clang and crash as bathroom tiles get scrubbed and windows squeak clean.
Today is such a day. The summer heat is climbing and I do not like to clean in 100 degree temps.  Weekends tend to get used up in our house so I pick a Wed through Fri, give my squirts lots of review worksheets and healthy snacks, break out the M&Ms for myself and the sparkling water for drinking (remember, I am trying to diet here!)

When Dad comes come and Tolkien is on he knows some serious spring cleaning is ensuing. He usually takes the kids and gets out of the house.

So, what did I put on 6 months ago while I was preparing a house to move? Let's just say that every single one of the Harry Potter films can last you quite a few late nights.

Good Reads

I'm a sucker for a good book. I especially love books I can read my kids at nighttime. It's our tradition. Tuck them into bed, warm in foot pajamas, the baby asleep in the next room. They don't all share a room but we all convene for a half hour to listen to the spellbinding tale of The Hobbit or the unruly humour of Roald Dahl. Here are ten of our favorite authors or books, in no particular order. There are more but little squirts are getting hungry for lunch!

1. As previously mentioned....The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. Our copy  has the front cover taped on and the back cover missing. Each chapter is it's own adventure as Bilbo Baggins enters a world of bravery, wit, and common sense. A great read before the movie comes out (which I'm sure will be fabulous) and all the characters have time to form in their imagination before one day they see it and the actors take those places.

2. Roald Dahl. We have not read all of his books and actually have not enjoyed all we have read. Those we love however we love to the point of obsession.
    ~ Matilda - in a house full of girls this is a winner. A little girl with a superpowered brain? Love it!
    ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - My personal favorite. There are points in the movies I like but nothing replaces the book.
   ~BFG - This is the first book my oldest daughter read entirely by herself. The cover is now also     missing, the pages worn and marked. It just might always be her first love.
   ~The Twits and Fantastic Mr. Fox - Short fun reads that make you giggle.
   ~James and the Giant Peach - This one my children enjoyed but didn't get into as much as the ones above. Still worth the read though!
   ~Boy, Tales of Childhood - Another personal favorite. My children were shocked at life before seat belts, good doctors, and FDA restrictions. It's also fun to see where the ideas of his books came from.

3. The Sign of the Beaver, by Elizabeth George Speare - A Newberry Honor book and for good reason. The story flows, is historically accurate, and my children were amazed that a twelve year old boy would be left alone to fend for himself in a cabin in the woods. I loved the theme of strong family ties that ran through it and the ideas of two cultures living side by side and yet being so different. Interesting without being preachy and thoughtful without being dull.

4. The Secret Garden by Fances Hodgson Burnett - Growing up A Little Princess by the same author was my all time favorite book with A Secret Garden being one I enjoyed the one time I read it. The flip side is true with my daughters showing that everyone has their own tastes and personalities. The language is a little old fashioned but more than worth it!

5. The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, by Patricia C. Wrede - There are four books altogether (I do not recommend the fifth one of short stories, it's for a much older crowd and unrelated) and every character is a hoot! A bored princess, a practical witch, a prince who does not want to get married. They are fun, action packed, and gets you craving cherries jubilee!

6. The Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth Grahame - Honestly, did you grow up not knowing  rat, mole, badger and the famous Mr. Toad? A bit daunting with little type and lots of old fashioned words? Read it anyway. Your kids will love it!

7. Charlotte's Web, by E.B. White - My kids spent weeks trying to talk to animals the first time they read it. This one has also been handled so many time that the spine is falling off.

8. Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, by Betty MacDonald - An upside down house? Crazy treatments for the most unruly of children? This one is great for bedtime since each chapter is in itself a different story. There are others (Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's Magic, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggles Farm) but this is my favorite.

9. Rick Riordon - My husband picked the first one up after hearing about it from a coworker....or maybe it was given as a gift? I can't remember now but he started reading these to the girls and I didn't see any of them after 7 pm for a good 2 months. They have read The Olympians books with all the corresponding literature, break offs, and what have you. Last week I picked up The Red Pyramid on audio CD (Kane Chronicles) from the library and the voices are hysterical. It's always crazy to me when a generation of little kids can go around spouting off Greek mythology and names.

10. Brandon Mull started when my brother started dating the author's sister. The Fablehaven books are perfect for homeschooling since my oldest can't get enough of them and they happen to have handy and easy thougth provoking questions at the end of every book. She reads and then gets to answer all the questions at the end. They aren't washed down either, some of them really make her think. Since she just finished the last book in the Fablehaven Series we are planning on checking out the other works by Brandon Mull. We hear the Beyonders books are even better, although the source might be a bit biased ;)

Bananas and Chocolate Ganache

Yesterday my Dear Husband, 5 Squirts, and I drove two hours to a small town of cute shops, a lake, and a pontoon boat rental. Today I made banana cupcakes with a dark chocolate ganache frosting. The two are connected but like the stars in a consellation the story is not apparent until the lines are drawn.

Dot one - Our mini van seats 8 people except the back belt was cut through six months ago. Long story for another day. There are 7 people in our family. The seat without a belt is the comfy one in the back which means someone has to use the middle back seat, designed for a thin stick midget who likes to sit next to a carseat with a little squirt who likes to poke you.

Dot two - Yesterday, being the sweet mom I am,  volunteered to sit in the dreaded middle back seat for the entire two hours.

Dot three - I never knew that sitting in the back makes you carsick, especially while reading to a little squirt.

Dot four - Days at a quaint little town with a lake are fun, especially when two hours of it are spent on a boat getting wet. Having one set of clothes and no swimsuit does not make for a fun car ride home.

Dot five -  Baby squirt likes to scream for two hours in car rides home when it is way past bedtime and you forgot their nighttime bottle.

Dot six - Our church starts at 9am and when you have squirts who spent the previous day in the lake it means getting up at 7am to bathe them regardless of when you got home.

Dot seven - Our sleep deprived baby squirt will scream for 3 hours of church if not given adequate sleep.

Dot eight - Tired mommies with screaming children deserately need banana cupcakes with chocolate ganache frosting to keep their sanity.

For your days like this I highly recommend the following recipe!!!

Cupcake - (by Wanda Thole from allrecipes.com)
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 cup ripe bananas (between 2 and 3)
1/4 cup buttermilk (I substituted 1/4 c. milk and 1/2 tsp vinegar)
2 cups flour (with cupcakes I recommend sifting and measuring if your crazy like I am)
1 teaspoon baking powder (Umm, I just realized I forgot this and didn't realize it - still tasted great!)
3/4 teaspoon baking soda (Having mis-read I used 1 tsp of baking soda)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt

In a mixing bowl cream shortening and sugar. Add eggs, vanilla, bananas, and buttermilk. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add to banana mixure. Spoon into paper lined muffin tins cups two-thirds full.
Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 min.

Ganache - (Alton Brown's recipe)
In a food processor add 8 ounces dark chocolate (I used Hersheys) or bittersweet chocolate. Put 8 ounces of heavy whipping cream in microwave for 1 minute. Slowly add cream to chocolate and pulse until creamy. Lick spoon. Either immediately dip cooled cupcake tops in ganache or put ganache in fridge for one hour, rewhip, and frost.

Diet, Diet, Diet

Diet, abstinence from food, wieght reduction plan, nutrition therapy, eating sparingly, counting calories, slimming down, tightening your belt, watching what you eat.

Oh, it goes by many names. The dreaded months before summer when the heat rises and the shorts come out. The cute highly doctored models on the magazine covers taunt us to look better and we fall victim yet again to the urges fostered in us from almost infancy. We must be skinny. We must be toned. We must be super energetic despite our 1500 calorie diets. We can look like the men and women who have thousands to blow on trainers, chefs, and surgery!

Actually I'm not one for fad dieting. At least not the kind were I have to buy pills or special foods. Alright, enough justification. I do fall prey to the dieting whims. The super high fiber, only juice, no carbs, calorie counting kind of diets that I think might somehow magically change my knees into something I will be proud of. (Note to self, once you are past 30 no knees are cute). I am also kind of hoping to get the perfect flat stomach and non jiggly arms. I  lose a few pounds and then celebrate with a weekend of ice cream and oreos.

Dang. Those 5 pounds just came back.

Truth be told I just enjoy food too much to really stick to these diets. I know many women who have the willpower and I know myself well enough to know I am not one of them. But I do feel better when I get in the regular exercise, lots of water, and a few more veggies. So this year I am doing it different.

I will only eat one small bowl of frito pie. I will skip the sour cream and reduce the number of chips.
I will buy reduced fat feta cheese for my salad tonight and increase the veggies I add.
I will only eat one cookie instead of five.
If I don't feel up for a high intensity workout I will get on the treadmill with a book or TV show tonight and walk.
I will play on the playground with my kids instead of watching them from the bench.
When I get the munchies I will grab a glass of water and then see how I feel.
If I have still have the munchies I will go ahead and make the Dr. Oz green juice drink that I actually kind of like the flavor of.

So far it seems to be working. I don't feel deprived. My sugar crashes at 2 pm are not severe. When I get the urge I do increase the fiber in a meal or have a all juiced meal without going overboard. I am not losing 5 pounds in 7 days but I have lost 1 1/2 in the last week and I figure this is a way of life I might actually be able to keep up. Who knows, by NEXT summer I might actually reach my weight loss goal!

Baby Steps Baby

Baby steps baby. That is the famous line of my husband. I tend to set huge goals and then feel a little overwhelmed and defeated when they don't get done in my unrealistic timeframe. This week I wanted the whole house cleaned, organized, and deep scrubbed by Friday when I will be hosting a get together for a few homeschool families. I started by going through every drawer of my five children, you know, in case someone opens a drawer. That done I moved on to deep scrubbing a bathroom, followed by a thorough cleaning out of my closet. Today was the midweek meltdown.
I'm a failure.
I have no energy.
I can't do it.
I am a bad mother because I am ignoring my kids and not actively engaging them in lessons.

Baby steps baby.
1. Re-evaluate goals
2. Write down what you want to get done in order of importance
3. Pat yourself on the back that you have actually accomplished what you have
4. Eat some chocolate

Will my house be imaculate by Friday? No. I will however be happy with what I have gotten done and stop worrying about what I haven't.

There. I feel better.

Incapacitated

I have often watched a movie or TV show where a person hits another in the back of the head with a heavy object and the victim drops to the floor. I suspected that dramatization was highly used since I could not imagine a single hit could incapacitate, knock out, or really make a person see stars. Falling from a high ladder might do it. Getting hit with a wrecking ball, sure! But a single good wack? I was skeptical.
Today I was making the top bunk of my daughter's bed. The ceiling fan was on. The ceiling fan is never on. One good wack folks and I was incapacitated, nearly knocked out, seeing stars.
Moral of the story? Sometimes the things you see on TV might actually be true.

A Jane Austen Kind of Day

Last post I wrote about my insecurity over my children's clothing. This is not a long time insecurity or a deep set one. It came about due to an innocent comment by a friend. It did get me thinking though that summer is upon us and it would be a good time to turn on the BBC version of Jane Austen (if I would have had a boy I would have named him Colin) and go through all the winter and summer clothes. It was while thus sifting that I discovered a pair of pants my 6 year old has been wearing recently. They are hot pink. They look like pajama pants. They are a size 3.

Hmmm, maybe the insecurities are founded.

Homeschool, Complexes, and Hair

I homeschool. Did I mention that? Am I crazy? Yeah, a little. It started with my husband. He was homeschooled.....sort of. He wanted to give it a try. I however associated homeschooling with granola and unshaven legs. Funny thing - I like granola and often go unshaven - most days I'm lucky if I get a shower. I didn't know much about homeschooling when my oldest hit kindergarden but I figured I couldn't screw up that grade too bad. Then we just kinda kept going. Everytime we move I check out the schools and try to move us into a good school area. As every September approaches I wonder if I should go ahead and put them in. I usually come close and then decide we will do one more year. The truth is that I love having them home. I love the trips we take at random times. I love sitting next to my daughter as she overcomes her dyslexia and finally gets those words that have baffled her for so long. I love art projects in the afternoon and baking soda volcanoes. My college degree was headed toward education when kids came along and changed the plans.

I have complexes though. Every gal has them. I'm pretty sure most guys have them as well. Gals worry that we are not skinny enough, that we are too skinny, that we are not smart enough, not organized, are too emotional, are starting to get eye wrinkles......
Then there are the deeper fears.
For me these include damaging my kids permanetly and beyond repair.

One of my 'complexes' is that my kids will come across as the stereotypical homeschooled kid. You know the stigma - we wear only clothes made by hand (which would be awful since I can't sew) and only read books written before the 1900s.

So we listen to Taylor Swift and know how to safely navigate the internet. We socialize often with lots of different groups and go get to know the neighbor kids.

Then one day a dear friend asked if we had a lot of hand me down clothes. Totally innocent query but the complexes started kicking in. Do my kids look like those homeschooled kids that never get their hair done and only wear old clothes from the 1980's?????
This arises from the fact that my kids DO wear a lot of hand me downs. Hey, there are five of them - stuff gets passed down. So the next time we had somewhere to go I made sure to sneakily double check appearances (I don't want to openly give my kids my complexes!) Shoes fit, correct size clothes were on the correct size kids, clolors matched and we were set. Later I walked into the building were my husband was meeting us, confident that even with all these kids we looked put together.

It was then that I noticed I had forgotten to brush out my 4 year olds hair.

Hey, you can't win them all.

My Own Reality Show

I have a confession. Sometimes I pretend that I am a movie star. Reese Witherspoon maybe. It's when I go to the grocery store with kids hanging off my arms and a pair of jeans with holes that are 'oh so not chic'. No make-up, hair in a ponytail, debit card buried in a bag with diapers, cheerios, and old receipts. This is when I enter my own little fantasy world. I am super famous and totally cute. The paparrazi is just around the corner waiting for me to do something that will make dicey headlines. Do I give them what they want? Oh no, not this gal. I patiently help my dear children put the bread back they pulled off the shelf. I stay focused. I even smile at the cashier and make small talk with the woman behind me. Tomorrow the headlines will read how sweet I am. How down to earth and focused.

Back straight, head up, and confident she was as she navigated the cold cuts aisle....

A little shallow? Maybe. It gets me through the store though and it's kinda fun.

Other days I involve my kids. Yesterday I was about to snap. The house was bombed. Seriously. Nucleur explosion. I was actually in the bathroom when I heard a woman's voice in my living room. I dashed out to find the former owner of my home walking from the living room and into my kitchen. We bought the house six months ago from an elegant older woman who was downsizing. She had come by once before to make sure we 'got settled' and tell us not to scratch the hard wood floors.  When she owned the home it had three thousand dollar rugs and antique chairs. She had driven by and seen that we had not raked the leaves in the front yard. She wanted to let me know that if we didn't rake the grass would die. The front door was unlocked so she had come in. The look on her face was priceless. Thing is, we don't own expensive things. It's not so much the price (well, part of it is) as much as the fact that my youngest draws on things. We also tend to have 'those' days. The ones where every dish has been used but not washed. The kids have been playing dress up and the clothes are everywhere. Those clothes are mixed with the three loads that have been dumped on the coach.

The apologies for the state of my home were profuse. I was embarresed. I was mortified. I was a little indignent.

Enter Reality TV. Old owner leaves and I turn to my kids. They know the look. They slowly back away and pick up the ice pop that has been dripping on the Walmart rug.
Cue the British accent.
We are a reality TV show of proper people who follow protocol. We have just entered a home that is atrocious!! We pinch our noses while picking up the perilous laundry and depositing it into the basket. We bemoan the lives of the family who lives here and surely do not know about impropriety! We wash dishes while humming Mary Poppins and twirl while vacuuming the rug. Camera crews are following the dialogue as we explain how people simply cannot live this way!

There are moments in my life, however brief, when I actually do have it together. For the other 364 days of the year I always have reality TV and the paparazzi.

Hi

Hey there. I am average. No, seriously, I looked it up once. I am the average height and average weight of a gal in her mid thirties. I do have five kids. Five girls to be exact. With each pregnancy my shoe size has gotten bigger. I guess that makes me the average gal with big feet. But that's about all. I do not play a musical instrument. I do not excel at sports. I am friendly, polite, and take a shower on a regular basis. That about fills my distiguishable characteristics.

I have a secret though. I'm happy. I really am. I forget that a lot though. It seems that every time I call a relative they are doing something extraordinary. Every time I get on pinterest I find that I am the only one not sewing or doing professional photography, or travelling to the far corners of the earth. A check up on facebook tells that I am the only person on the planet not running a marathon today. It's not just the Internet though. Almost my whole life I have felt like the afterthought, the quota filler, the equalizer. So I made a choice. Today I am going to change. Today I am going to do what I want and be who I want to be. Time to shut off the voices. I am  a thirty something mother of five who feels quite entitled to have an early mid life crisis. I may not always win the Miss Congeniality award but perhaps I will find myself.  Today I have decided to start a new me.